Bondage Artist, Photographer, Performer, and Educator
“Do it? I did it thirty-five minutes ago.”
-Ozymandias (paraphrased) “Watchmen”
I don’t let a lot of people in. And less so, recently. And I’ve let a few know that I needed help or we needed to talk. That time was running out before I had to shut them out, assuming that what we had was just irreparable. I told them time was running out, like the sands of an hourglass.
So, what does that have to do with this pic I found? The picture represents “Yesterday’s Sunset”. The sand ran out. The changes happened last night over tears and video games. And while I will mourn what we had in our friendships or deeper feelings, I will be hoping for the best in whatever they do. As well as in whatever I do next.
With this first shoot of the new year, I am again grateful to those who are willing to step under the rig with me. The path to this tie has been a bumpy one. But she brought her beauty, desire, and willingness to look me in the eye and allay my concerns. It gave me the clear focus to create beautiful art... as well as plan when we will do it again.
This rope kit is the only one of my sets to make it back home where it came from. After it’s long journey by my side , it has been maintained and will be allowed to rest for a few weeks before activity again. As for it’s successor... our story together has yet to begin.
With the coming of the new year, it’s time for me to close the chapter of my life that was the reasons for the direction of my art. I’ve decided over the last few weeks that it won’t be the end, though. That choice seems too unwise for me. But what it will be a different phase in my journey. I’m no more ready for this phase than I was for the last one, which is why I know it will be something worth giving my all for. My sincere apologies for those who hoped I would fade. And my gratitude to those who implored that I should not.
Either way, here we go.
“When the waves crash upon you (And make no mistake, they will), steady yourself within and they will not move you.” Watching Epona prepare for the storm. Knowing, like always, she will move with it and not be moved by it.
Even in the winter months, my friend March’s intensity can be seen and felt. Her heat in rope can keep us all a little warmer. And her friendship is a welcome spring wind in this season.
“Art is our only salvation from the horror of existence” In a world where such a quote is more true than it should be, I am extremely grateful for fellow collaborators such as @nanobites56 who push with me to make art at a level where existence is just the first step to experiencing artistic joy.
Somedays, training takes the form of helping a friend out. And sometimes while helping, you get called on to do your craft. This was one such day. I was glad to practice and make some one smile (even if you can’t see it here) Taken at Department H.
At a time when remembering to do my craft was vital, @queenwhiskeyginger was willing to come through and make beautiful art with me. I haven’t had the chance to thank her by showing her the end results of my vision. But now I can make good on that, and share it with all of you. Double win.
The last few months have been nothing short of tumultuous. And to say I feel lost and broken is... honestly just facing facts. However that which does not kill you makes you stronger. While I can’t guarantee I will stay that way, I sure as shit ain’t dead yet. And broken things can not only be fixed, they can be improved. Possibly changed for the better. But definitely changed.
I almost didn’t want to post anything because of spite and anger at people. In contemplation, it is that same reason that I am posting. I love my art. And I love not only what my art means, but what it means to me. And so, I will continue to share it, because that’s part of what *my* version of this art entails.
My art brings me enlightenment. It helps me reinforce my strengths. It helps me face my failures. It helps me learn to not repeat my failures and live for more than redemption. We should not improve ourselves in word, deed, and skill for approval or forgiveness, we should do it to become better for the goal of being closer to the ideal of what we dream we embody.
And so, I continue to train. I continue to improve. I continue to live to overcome my sins and my triumphs.
But most of all, I continue.